It's been awhile

I know... I know. It's been awhile since I've posted anything on here. I've been rather busy lately. And that isn't an understatement. As some of you might know, I'm working on two radio shows, writing music and running my own graphic design business. There literally aren't enough hours in the day. I'm even doing "brainstorming" in my sleep. But, oh... it's so wonderful to be busy. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Things are still going downhill with my Grandmother's mental state. I love going to visit her, but it isn't easy. She's been making my Dad feel pretty bad because he won't "Take her home" every time he visits her (which is quite often). I've only been a few times.

I'm going to go spend a few days with my Good friend Curt down in Lebanon, OH. I need to get out of the house for a change. Besides grocery shopping and getting a haircut, I've been kooked up in the house working. Don't get me wrong... I'm taking my computer with me. I still have to work. It will just make my at home job an away from home job for a few days.

It's starting to get warmer. Thank goodness for small favors.

Facing Life

Now that I have moved back to Dayton, OH I am forced to face the reality that my Grandmother is in a nursing home. The last time I saw her was a little over a year ago (Christmas 2009). She was lucid then. We played cards together (yes, with REAL cards) and we had a very nice time together. She even made a comment about whether or not I would ever look back and remember that (this) time together. Now, I think about it all the time.

She's in a nursing home now in the "beginning" stages of dementia. I put that in quotes because I beg to differ with the term "beginning". While I haven't seen her yet, the way she is now, I have been getting updates from my parents. Half of the time she doesn't know who people are or where she is.

Which brings me to my current situation.

I need to go see her, but I'm scared. I'm scared of shattering the memory of the last time I saw her. When she still had a sparkle in her eyes and knew who I was. Her Grandson.

I lost my maternal Grandmother a couple years ago and I'm still reeling from that. But I know that I should feel lucky that my paternal Grandmother is still around. Even if her mental capacity is waning.

I'll go see her in a few days.

I think I'll take a pack of playing cards with me too.